God makes an analogy with marriage, too. Let’s look at it.
It really begins at the beginning of chapter 5 of Ephesians with “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma … .” Then Paul digresses into some other (important) stuff, and then picks back up with his beginning ideas with some instructions for wives, and then some for husbands and ends with this at the end of verse 29–32: "…just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. … and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." (emphasis added.)
You know what God intends for our marriages? That they look like Jesus’ love for the church that involved selfless sacrifice to rescue the damsal in distress. The husbands get to portray Jesus, and the wives get to portray the church, the bride of Christ.
Even in the bible, it’s a lot like a fairy tale. There’s a hero Prince Charming who rides in on a white horse, saves the day, and gets the girl. Riding off into the sunset is the abundant life we get right now and when we reach the horizon, there is a castle in a paradise called Heaven.
There really is happily ever after. And our earthly marriages are supposed to demonstrate that reality every day until He comes (again) to save the day and get the girl and ride off into the sunset.
Our marriages are supposed to be about God and the future oneness we will experience with Him in a way that is more complete than just merely having the Holy Spirit reside within (as if that isn’t already enough.)
But that’s just who God is. He gives good gifts, and He gives them lavishly and endlessly upon his Bride. Because his love is a jealous love and an extravagant love, and a perfect love that casts out fear.
It’s a love that is patient, and kind, and not boastful or envious. It is not proud or provoked. It does not act unbecomingly or selfishly. It doesn’t keep score (I guess because we’re on the same team and the devil is defeated). His kind of love for his bride bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things. It never gives up or caves in. His love never fails. He loves us happily ever after.
God is our hero and loves us with an everlasting love and don’t you want to be a part of that?!
We husbands and wives get to perform the starring roles and attract an audience to come to the show and hope beyond hope and prayer beyond prayer that they, too, will come to participate and not just be spectators.
We in our marriages are supposed to be a spectacle, center stage, that is romantic and woos people to Jesus and salvation and toward happily ever after and after and after and even after that without end. We have a very important job as joint–heris of Christ as husbands and wives. It’s really not about us after all. We get top billing in order to tell the gospel story and bring all honor and glory to Him.
It’s about Jesus and the passionate love that drove Him to a despicable cross in order to rescue fallen us from the bonds of wicked sin so that we could be completely forgiven and know his gift of grace and wear his royal robes and ring, and belong to Him and be one with Him.
You, husband, were worth it. You, wife, were worth it. He doesn’t then put us on the shelf as a trophy to look good. He places us by his side to be co–regent and co–laborer to declare his goodness and his endless mercies and to summon every other subject of fallen humanity to the throne of grace and receive sonship into his kingdom.
Take Home: Why on earth would we bicker pointlessly about what role we have to play, or anything for that matter, when we should be spending our time on earth pointing to Christ with the roles we get to play?