Different, Equal and Uncooperative

by - October 05, 2011

So if we actually look at the blueprint, we’ll find that boys and girls are different. They are equal in value, but different nonetheless.  I’m assuming you caught on to the different part back on day 1 when grenades and bluebirds both took part in the same post.  Yep, pretty sure that was self-explanatory, so I will move on to the equal part.


Man and woman are of equal worth because both were created in God’s image and given the breath of God. Don’t miss this because that’s what makes the different part not so threatening. We are both valuable. It’s not a competition.
Surrendering to this notion is not enough; we must welcome it.  I’m convinced there is something very powerful that happens when a man embraces his role and a woman hers in a marriage. I think this for two reasons.
One, there are complex and longstanding social agendas regarding the feminization of men and the empowerment of women that stem from worldly forces and the prince of the power of the air. 
I know that’s pretty hefty stuff, but it speaks to how important an issue this is to the success of marriage and family. Since it is a prioritized target and gains the attention of powerful forces, then getting our differences right and embracing them must be equally potent.
Two, my husband and I are embracing our unique roles as man and wife and offering enough grace for the other to mess up on occasion. This has become easier as our marriage has matured and we've built a history of trust and respect. Maturing spiritually in our walk with Christ over the years is another factor in our ability to walk according to God's commands by faith regarding these roles.  But I assure you, the result is nothing but blessing; Mike agrees. Obedience always brings blessing. 
Some say marriage is hard work, but my marriage isn’t work at all. Sure, I’m engaged in doing things to attend to my marriage.  But I would never call that activity work. It is a joy and a delight to me, something I get to do as opposed to something I have to do.
Embracing our God-designed roles makes man and wife both feel protected, loved, respected, and chosen. Husbands and wives have unique needs, and they're met in distinct ways, ways that just so happen to be covered by our fuliflling the roles God gave us. If husband and wife will each fulfill their distinct role, each will feel fulfilled, and their “have to’s” become “want to’s.”  The relationship is a blessing, not a burden. 
Take Home:  Do you see your “work” in your marriage as a “have to” or a want to?”
What’s keeping you from embracing your role as a wife or a husband?
Do you struggle with the idea of  “different but having equal value?” Why or why not?

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4 comments

  1. Dawn,

    I enjoy the "work" of being a wife. Scott and I often share how we are the answer to each other's shortcomings. A sort of "You Complete Me" thing, I guess. :)

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  2. Thank you, Dawn! I love the way you talked about 'embracing our God-designed roles' and how it brings the feelings of being protected, loved, respected, and chosen! Those are perfect descriptions of how it truly is when we do it God's way!

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  4. Next step after the "have to" to the "want to" is the "get to" :) - nice piece, thanks for sharing (typo corrected).

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