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Everyday Ordinary Dawnings

Some days are tough. Some are long. This one was both. It wasn’t the worst I’ve ever been through, but it was the worst in a recent stretch of days that were going fairly well, and I was looking forward to calling it a night. I felt defeated and cranky, but just then the Holy Spirit said, “Choose joy.”

Don’t you hate it when He does that? You’re tired, so you’re embracing the path of least resistance, which inevitably means following the flesh. That’s when He does it, asks you to rise above, to shine His light when you feel dark.

And you know what it brought to mind? Jesus and two scriptures.

Jesus had a rough day of his own after having to come down pretty hard on the pharisees. He left the temple, maybe hoping to call it a day, just like me. But he didn’t get to kick off his shoes and relax for the evening because the disciples pointed out the temple buildings to him on the way out.

Here’s where we get a glimpse into what Jesus was thinking, because when he looks at the temple with the disciples, he sees the temple as it will be in a future day, when not one stone will stand any longer on another. I think Jesus must have been getting homesick. On the heels of a tough confrontation his thoughts might have grown dark and fell upon another tough day for him that was fast approaching – Crucifixion Day.

Instead of lingering over the spiritual and physical agony of crucifixion, he goes in his mind even further to another day, a better day – the Day of the Lord. So Jesus looks at the temple, and sees it as it will one day be, destroyed, when he will come again. It sparks a conversation with the disciples about the signs of his coming and the end of the age, and that glorious Day (Matthew 23-24).


Maybe Jesus did this because he already knew the future. We’re not so capable of scanning the future for our thoughts to land on a better time. But Jesus gave us a few gems about that Day that can carry us through our long, difficult days. Those gems shine His light into our present darkness if we let them.

I think that just might be what Jesus’ late night in Gethsemane was all about. He was looking for a way to wrap his hands around a bitter cup he didn’t want to drink. But God asked him to embrace that cup like a crystal goblet that shined light to a future wedding feast where He will wed his Bride. I think the Holy Spirit might have asked him to look at his long, tough crucifixion day and choose joy. The request made Jesus sweat. Blood.

But he did it. The writer of Hebrews tells us that ”…Jesus, …for the joy set before Him, endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). Jesus looked at undeserved death by ultimate torture at the hands of men he loved and longed to forgive and saw beyond it to the joy enduring would bring.

Can we do any less when faced with a long, hard day that is actually short and easy when compared with what Jesus endured for the joy set before him? We can look to the same glorious day and endure for the sake of joy.
January 27, 2014 No comments




Two nights ago, I put my head on my pillow and knew nothing else until the alarm went off at 5AM. I don't remember the last time that happened. I'm in my forties, you know.

An aching hip sometimes wakes me when I roll onto it during the night. I often peak at the clock when I pass through sleep cycles. 1:42. 4:17. This morning I woke up at 4:43 in anticipation of the alarm. There's a reason for the cliché "sleep like a baby."

So I went with it. I hit snooze and opted to forgo my sneakers and early morning workout.

Remember childhood when there was no responsibility, no tension, and  utter oblivion during the dark hours before dawn?

///

When I dropped my phone and the earphones came unplugged, it stopped the music from playing at the onset of my mile and a half this morning. Rather than reset my app, I draped the earbuds around my neck tucking them safely inside my sweatshirt and ventured into the quiet morning dew.

With room now to think, I rehearsed my work on yesterday's project, a small victory. I danced with today's possibilities and then tomorrow's. I tangoed again with a circumstance I'm not particularly happy with right now, one I have no power to change alone, a definite signal to change dance partners. So I asked God.

How many times do you pray that God will change your circumstances before you wonder if you are praying the right prayer?

Lord, help me rest right here then, right where you have me. I submit.

I dance on, thinking through goals, what's going well, what's not—responsibilities, worries, fears. These, too, are all tangled into the circumstances I don't like, and I wonder if I am to surrender them, too, like my retired earbuds resting over my shoulder. Yes, maybe God should shoulder these snarled concerns of mine.

Just then, God steps on my toes because I misstepped in our waltz. It happens every time I try to lead. He gathers me back into his arms and we begin again.

The hopes and burdens and fears are there to spur me onward—toward a new circumstance. I am to follow them, not surrender them; The tension has a purpose: it is my commission to walk into the darkness by faith. To dance even.

Rest in your trust of Me, not in your circumstances.

I am not in my circumstances; I am in Him. How could I forget?

God eases me closer with a strong, steady arm around the vulnerable small of my back. It straightens my posture making me beautiful, more beautiful. My hip doesn't hurt and I am wide awake.

The tension between trusting God in an unpleasant circumstance and the circumstance itself is where God wants me. This dance is play, not work. It is childlike rest and utter oblivion in the quiet darkness before dawn.

He leaves me spent, love-struck, and breathless—exactly where God wants me.

~Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.~
Matthew 11:28, NIV

Telling His Story today with Jennifer.

January 15, 2014 4 comments
Mike and I recently caught a movie on TV set in the future, when the one-world-currency was time. There were ticking timers on everyone's forearm. The poor had little time left and no way to gain more. The rich had time locked in vaults. Banks made loans of months and charged interest in days. Making a phone call at the phone booth cost a minute. One of the characters asked another how much her rich tycoon father was worth and she said, "It must be eons." Time was transferrable by clasping forearms and turning them upward or downward. The upper hand gained time, while the under hand lost it. People were mugged and the assailant stole only their time. If your time ran out, you died.

~ ~ ~

So. How are your new year's resolutions working out for you now, about 10 days in?

I keep thinking I will find my success in mustering enough will power, so I'm still failing.

It's time for a new angle.

~ ~ ~

Eve allowed her emotions to override her confidence in God's sacred word chose the forbidden. Cain would do the same when it was time to bring his offering before God. The Colossians would, too. Paul advises them against it in Col 2:8. It's recorded for all of time, so this prideful thinking that we know best is a timeless problem with fallen man. The "don't worry — I got this" mentality is dangerous.

In certain areas of my life, I am struggling with doing what I know to be right and having the will power to do it. I'm sure this is a shocking revelation, and you never have such battles in your life. But humor me if you will.

The flesh wants what is not healthy; God wants what is. Which will I choose? It's an age old conundrum.

So I go to the Lord in prayer and ask him to show me the way to self-control.

"Dependency upon God is the God-given shield against making diseased decisions." (Godspeed by deTreville Bowers, p.18).

~ ~ ~

Moments become a lifetime. Each second contributes to who I am andwhat I accomplish for God, and marks my life. So I want each moment to count.

A second, by itself, appears to have little, if any, value. But the lie in that is subtle. A moment is no small thing.



It's at its largest when it's at the crux of a decision regarding how I will spend it. The "I got this" mentality I often have going into each moment winds up being my snare.

Eve thought she could handle making a decision apart from God's advice. She chose to act in her own thinking and decision-making power rather than to trust in God's sacred word. Cain brought an offering to God that presented his very best self to God, and God rejected it, with a warning that that kind of pride would kill him.

I want my moments to count. They tell my story. They reveal my journey and my destination. Will the moments become my journey to my best self or my journey to Jesus? What am I, through my moments, offering to God?

David would not offer anything to God that didn't cost him something. God does not approve of every offering brought before Him (Gen. 4: 4f). He does approve and accept offerings brought with a right heart (1 Sam 16:7, 1 Cor. 9:7), so our offerings to God must be sacrificial.

Each day that I put my feet on the floor while time ticks, I choose what I will present to God that day.

The "will power" battle is won when we see our moments, afternoons, and lifetimes as acts of worship. When, like Paul, we know the right thing to do, but can't seem to muster the strength to do it, we must, in that moment, offer ourselves a living sacrifice for the umpteenth time.

The way to be strong is to fall in our weakness into faith.

Our offerings to God authenticate our measure of trust. Abel's faith was verified by his offering. So was Cain's. So will be mine and yours. God accepted Abel's and rejected Cain's with advice about how to succeed next time. What will he say of yours and mine?

Are we seeing God in our moments, afternoons, and lifetimes?

The pure in heart fall to their knees and present their worst self to God.  And he accepts their offering. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matt 5:8).

Every moment I live is an offering to him. It is either an offering of my choice to live by faith according to God's commands, or a blemished offering of my choice to live by my desires, emotions, rationalizations, and best efforts. God knows the difference, because he evaluates my offering based on my heart in the giving of it. My offering reveals my faith or lack thereof (pride).

What do your moments say about your? about God?

And time really is quite the commodity, even now. It can't be banked or traded or added or subtracted. It only ticks steadily toward one last moment when God will accept our lifetime or reject it. And he has advised us on how to succeed in that.

"But cursed is the swindler who has a male in his flock and vows it, but sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord, for I am a great King," says the Lord of hosts, "and my name is feared among the nations (Mal 1:14).

January 10, 2014 1 comments
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About Me
Dawn is a writer, Bible teacher, speaker, and pastor's wife. She co-founded Columbia World Outreach Church in Columbia, South Carolina with her husband, Mike. By day, Dawn manages a law firm. In the leftover hours she writes for various online and print publications. You are welcome here. What you will find is real life and a faith that's a living organism -- which is to say it's growing and sometimes cranky, exuberant, stinky, wobbly, petulant, overconfident, tired, satisfying, and beautiful. May you find here some courage to own your own days and your own unfinished faith.

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