When Mike and I got married, we moved an hour and a half away from home to take jobs. It sometimes happens when you graduate from college. You take a job that requires moving away.
This was before cell phones when calling home required long distance charges. So there wasn’t too much calling home when things were tough, which they were, because lots of life changes take place all at the same time, which they did. We couldn’t run to our old typical go–to people like best friends and moms or dads.
We had only each other to rely on. This was hard, but turned out to be a blessing in our new marriage. If I had had old relationships that I had cleaved to in the past at my disposal as a newlywed, I’m not so sure I would have had the strength or wisdom in myself to create a very necessary new attachment (called cleaving in the bible) to my new husband. He is the one I was supposed to become one with.
There’s no I in team. A team wears the same colors. They wear the same uniform. A team works together. They don’t make their way the best they can by themselves while side by side with someone outfitted just like they are. A team of horses harnessed together (yoked) share the heavy load they drag right behind them.
Your husband is not your enemy. He is not going out of his way to figure out how to make your life miserable any more than you are with him. He wants a happy marriage just as much as you do. Who doesn’t want their marriage to be happy? And God wants both parties to be holy. We are all on the same team. We wear the same colors and bear the same burden.
We must act like it. Forgive errors with a pat on the rear, just like those athletes do on the baseball field. Encourage one another to keep looking forward with, “Brush it off, you’ll make the play next time.”
When have you ever seen a teammate throw down his baseball cap and accuse a teammate of meaning that? “You meant to strike out because you want to hurt me! Don’t even try to defend yourself. I know what you’re doing. You’re throwing the game intentionally!”
Teammates give one another the benefit of the doubt. They don’t see everything that happens on the field through the lens of self. They view the game on the field as a team. Offense and defense are a cooperative effort and benefit the team mutually. They work together with one another and don’t reach out for this kind of support to the stands or the opposing team.
Your husband is not your competitor. He is not your enemy. He is your teammate. And you are his helpmate. Now let’s leave and cleave, show our true colors, get out there, and play ball.
How else are we supposed to become one?
It is for this reason that a husband should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.
Take Home: Do you view yourself as part of a team?
Have you left and cleaved?