Friday, October 21, 2011

Non-Negotiables

When I was a little girl, my mom and dad sat the three of us down at the kitchen table one Saturday afternoon and told us they were getting a divorce.  The meeting was short. The few necessary details were given to support the fact that this decision was based on solid data, then reassurance that they both still loved us commenced, followed by a short Q and A. The board meeting was thus adjourned.
They nailed it if they were going for low-key. We ended with some awkward hugs and pats on the back that were delivered with hollow enthusiasm.

As if it’s possible to give this kind of meeting a positive spin.
I left the house and wandered the neighborhood alone, the hollow news echoing in my brain for most of the afternoon.  The news sank into the earth of my young life only after what had previously been a firm foundation was softened by an afternoon of tears.
So years later when I said yes to Mike, I was saying yes unto death.
Statistics tell us that kids from broken homes have a higher risk of divorce themselves. I didn’t know about that statistic back then, but I did know I never wanted to do this to my children, even the ones I didn’t yet have. Staying married has always been my only option. I knew this at seven, and I knew it still at nineteen when I became engaged to be married. A year later the man of my dreams became the man of my reality.
Apparently deep convictions grow tall when seeded in tragedy-tilled soil.
Take Home: Are your non-negotiables God’s?
Have you gotten beyond past mistakes, yours and others’?


Linking today for five minutes on Friday with Lisa Jo. Today's topic is Beyond.



8 comments:

  1. Hi, I'm visiting from 5Min Friday, and I remember well the same kind of board meeting- and the complications that never ended. So glad that with God's grace, we are making a different history for my kids- just celebrated 25 years. Happy Friday.

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  2. I'm not sure how your post connects with the word Beyond ~ but can imagine that you have moved beyond the pain of your parent's divorce (applause and awe) and we can see how that situation has made you a better, stronger, more secure wife, mother and woman.
    Blessings to you and your family,
    Felecia

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  3. Loved the post.. I will look into the rest of your series

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  4. Having been through a divorce that was pretty low key (and we had a 3 year old at the time) I remember thinking, "If I ever remarry again, it's forever and divorce will never be an option."

    I'm trying to teach that to both my girls now - non-negotiable. Sticking it out. Being a safe place where my spouse can be his most real self. And vice versa.

    Here from Five Minute Friday. Thanks for sharing. This was great.

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  5. I too don't get the connection with beyond but I do connect with your story. It is my story too. Our "board meeting" was conducted with all of us piled up in their bed on a Saturday morning. I will never forget it. I wrote for Five Minutes this morning about my 25th anniversary. God is good. He heals the brokenhearted. May God continue to bless your life, your marriage.

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  6. Love the way God redeemed that low-key board meeting in your life. He's good at stuff like that. :)

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  7. Ohhh, the picture is sad . . . makes me want to reach out and hug that little girl with a broken heart and world. Though different, I vowed things would be different too when I grew up . . . and it's all work, and God certainly needs to be the tiller of that soil to keep it for Himself. Thank you for sharing.

    Writing on beyond with you . . .

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  8. Praising God for the way He has redeemed the yuck, and making something beautiful from it. Beyond, indeed ...

    xxoo

    - Jennifer @GDWJ

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