You know why we fight? Because we have an agenda and that agenda is threatened. We fight because it appears likely that we might not get our way.
That’s it. The only reason we fight is to get our way. (Aren’t you glad you’re not paying for this?)
I can’t remember the last time Mike and I had a fight. I’m not bragging. Really. I’m just as amazed as you are. We used to be good fighter and get lots of practice. We even did it in front of others.
But somewhere along the line, we outgrew it. Pretty simple, huh? We just outgrew it.
That’s what happens when you both are growing in Christ, getting better at and stronger in living the crucified life. It begins to show up in your life in very practical ways.
Dead people can’t fight.
I don’t really know how or when it happened for us because it wasn’t a huge milestone. It just happened slowly over time. Like I said, it was just a by-product of daily growth in Christ.
And now, since it’s been so long, when the opportunity presents itself, one of us takes a pass. You know how you do that? You back down. You step away from the cliff. You just stop going there because you’ve been at peace for long enough to realize it’s a much better place and you just don’t want to go there anymore.
I think it’s a little bit like heaven in that once you’ve been there, you won’t really want to go back.
So go ahead. Kiss fighting goodbye. Even making up is over-rated. Why not try the no-fighting life. I imagine it will work if you both decide to go for it. You’ll be glad you did.
Take Home: Do you think not fighting is possible in your marriage?What will it take for you two to get there? Are you willing to take those steps?