Wednesday, 14 February 2018 -- Day 1

Lent started for me when I went to the 11:00p Christmas Eve service with two friends and my son at the Episcopal cathedral. The building was beautiful, the acoustics fantastic, the choir so timelessly beautiful. I'm trying to find another word, but beauty is the right one. It was all so beautiful, as if beauty is its own thing that glorifies God. All the beauty was worship. And to know that many Christians around the world that night were experiencing the same service, hearing/reading/reflecting on the same scriptures made my individual worship take on a sense of community and oneness in the body of Christ.

It made me want to experience a liturgical Ash Wednesday service. Adrian and I went to the Anglican church at 7:00a and sat in our quiet contemplation in a sparsely filled simple but beautiful sanctuary. We sat with our sinfulness, something I rarely do. I let sin's gravity and consequence sink in with the pressed ashes to my forehead. It is good and holy to remember from where I came. It was the perfect background for a day also designated to celebrate love. And then the unspeakable, again. in Florida. And we are back, full circle, staring into the evil face of our grim depravity. Lent is the search for hope. And this is how we grieve, but not as those who have no hope.

Saturday, 17 February 2018 -- Day 4

My Lent readings from Bread and Wine have been so profound. Uncovering and dusting off the concepts of sorrow over sin and self-denial are so needed in my life. Self-discipline is a fruit of the Spirit as well as a surrender to the same Spirit. I need to walk in self-discipline more fully, more regularly, as a personal liturgy. Surrender is a Lenten sacrifice. This I have learned.