Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Three Jobs at One Time Survival Guide

Step 1
Begin to let your morning workouts become sporadic, then eventually non-existent.

Step 2
Appreciate your morning coffee almost as much as sleep.


Step 3
Put your family life, social life, volunteer ventures, blog, and social media on hold indefinitely.

Step 4
Pray your kids complete their homework, remember to shower, and brush their teeth all on their own.

Step 5
Happily eat the undercooked/overcooked meals your eleven-year-old cooked -- cold and alone, of course, hours after she cooked it and every one else ate it. (Thanks, Reagan Ru, you rock!) Miss dinner devotions with your family. Do not pass go; Do not collect $200.


Step 6
Become more grateful by the day that God provided the perfect replacement for the two part time jobs you love and hated to leave.  Praise the Lord that God's timing was quick this time and not slow as some count slowness...(2 Peter 3:9) because slowness in this case is what would cause you to perish. She could even become a great friend -- that is, if you're social life weren't on hold. (See step 3.)

Step 7
Learn the names of a whole new congregation as fast as you can because you don't know how long you get a free pass for not knowing Mrs. Delores Morris's name yet.

Step 8
Praise the Lord that this won't last long.

Step 9
Train and be trained. Teach and learn until your brain aches the way your lungs and cheeks do when you're having trouble blowing up a balloon.  Wonder if your brain will eventually pop like the balloon does, and whether it will be loud and startle you.

Step 10
Devour the chocolate that was a "just because" gift from your husband while you soak in the bath salts (the rest of the "just because" gift).  He gives these gifts because he's been doing more laundry and dishes in the last month alone than in the previous twenty-two years of marriage put together.  He gains a new-found appreciation for the one called "housekeeper" and "homemaker."  You are so grateful...again...still (in your spare time, of course).



Step 11
Plan a Spring weekend retreat that you will lead and teach for your church's women's ministry in the midst of this.

Step 12
Repeat Step 8.

Step 13
Enjoy full time salary plus two part time salaries coming in all at once.

Step 14
Don't get used to Step 13.

Step 15
Kiss your family and take them to Florida for Spring Break (praying it gets here soon) because they've pitched in and stepped to the plate to help out. (When did the family baseball game start? Did I miss something?)



Step 16
Look forward to the time you no longer have to do two part time jobs on top of the new full time one.

Step 17
Buy more chocolate and bath salts and repeat Step 10 as necessary.

Step 18
When it's all over, reverse Step 1.

2 comments:

  1. Step #19 plan a get away with your dear cousin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your head must be spinning along with all those plates you have up in the air! Hope the pace eases up soon!

    ReplyDelete

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