The cancer still had free reign of his body, and, to make matters worse, Mike was now recovering from a three hour surgery to get a better biopsy and place the port, which wasn't functioning properly. He could be facing more surgery for a port tune-up. I brought a very delicate man home from the hospital.
And it only lasted 48 hours. He went back for 18 more days, 16 of which remained without treatment. God was teaching us to be still.
Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. ~Psalm 37:3-6 (emphasis mine)
Until now, Mike had not uttered a single complaint. It was remarkable; but he broke the winning streak when we left the children...again. His kidneys and liver were failing again. They simply were no match for baseball-sized and grapefruit-sized tumors, still untreated.
Eight days of waiting ensued, and we were now losing the liver failure battle, too. Mike needed cancer treatment desperately, but we couldn't seem to clear the hurdles that stood in the way. The waiting was literally killing him.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness; I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;therefore I will wait for Him." Lamentations 3:21-24 (emphasis mine)
I prayed these scriptures and begged for open doors before us and that gates would not be shut from Isaiah 45:1-3:
As I followed an ambulance two hours away from my babies for the next ten days, God's choir reassured me from the car stereo speakers:
I continue to count the daily graces He gives....#90 - 99:
~fireflies at dusk
~the cool of the evening
~front porch rocking with friends
~the cool breeze bringing the smell of the grill
~the neighbor's flowers become mine
~laughing hard and long
~Wii Just Dance with my church girls (who better not put videos on facebook)
~teaching the bible again after a long time
~Really knowing He is God...